Getting Our Hopes Up
by mcobsessed007
Summary: One-shot. Just an idea about a possible MerDer storyline in 7x12. Enjoy!


**A/N: This is a story about what I think may be headed MerDer's way next week in 7x12. Enjoy!**

**Warning: It's very angsty and slightly heartbreaking at the end, but there are some nice moments too.**

**Disclaimer: If it were mine, I wouldn't have to make predictions.**

Meredith sighed as she faced her brand-new interns. She had just given them Bailey's speech, and they were currently looking at her with a mixture of fear and respect on their faces. Well, at least there was one positive side to her day. She felt awful, and didn't need stupid or rowdy interns to make her day any worse. She shook her head in an attempt to clear it, and then began giving instructions. Her first three interns left to (hopefully) fulfill their assignments, and she instructed the fourth to follow her to the patient's room.

"Now, Johnson, what do we do if Mr. Green's CT results-" Suddenly, Meredith felt a wave of nausea rising up. Covering her mouth, she muttered "excuse me," and dashed into the nearest bathroom just in time to empty her stomach. She groaned and leaned against the door for a moment. She couldn't be sick. She just couldn't. She was too busy with work, and everyone's problems, and she was hoping to try to talk to Cristina, and the Chief had just announced that morning that he was looking for a new Chief Resident, and...Meredith sighed, splashed some water on her face, and went back to Johnson and Mr. Green, hoping she wouldn't get sick again that day.

She made it through the rest of the morning without any problems, other than the fact that she was completely exhausted. At lunch, she dropped her mostly empty tray on the table, and put her head down as well.

"What's up with you?" Alex asked as he, Lexie, Jackson, and April joined her.

"I'm sick," Meredith moaned. She picked her head up and looked around the room, but there was no sign of Cristina. She'd been back a week and they'd still barely spoken. Derek kept telling her it wasn't her fault, and that she should just let Cristina settle back into the hospital routine, but Meredith was starting to get frustrated with her person. Or her ex-person? Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by another wave of nausea.

"What is that smell?" she demanded, covering her mouth again.

"You mean my mystery meat?" Jackson asked. "What do we think is in here anyway?"

"That's what they do to the interns no one likes," Alex answered. "I'm thinking about contributing a few of mine to the kitchen staff, in fact. They cut off their limbs one by one and then slowly grind them up-"

"Alex!" Meredith, April, and Lexie protested. Lexie looked disgusted, April looked tearful, and Meredith dashed out of the room to throw up again.

Later that day, Meredith and her interns gathered again in Mr. Green's room, this time with Derek as the neuro consult. He smiled at her, and she gave a halfhearted smile in return, trying not to show him how awful she really felt. She was also trying to ignore the fact that Mrs. Green kept patting her very pregnant stomach.

After confirming that Mr. Green did indeed have an aneurysm, and would need surgery the next morning, Derek headed out of the room, and Meredith followed him, leaving her interns to monitor the patient. As her husband opened his mouth to speak to her, the door opened, and Mrs. Green approached them.

"Dr. Shepherd?" she asked quietly. "Could I have a word with you?"

"Certainly, Mrs. Green," Derek smiled. "You should know that your husband is in good condition, and from what I can tell from his scans, the surgery should be relatively simple, minus usual risks, of course."

"Oh, good," she breathed. "I'm sorry, it's just that I'm suddenly anxious all of the time. I blame the pregnancy hormones."

Derek and Meredith glanced at each other, and then quickly looked away, neither wanting to see the pain in the other's eyes.

"You know, it's amazing," Mrs. Green continued. "You skip your period, and you throw up non-stop, and all of the sudden you realize 'Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant,' and then you tell your husband, and your stomach keeps getting bigger, and-"

"You know, I'm so sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Green, but Dr. Grey and I actually need to go check on another patient now," Derek cut in smoothly. "We'll be back later to check on your husband."

He steered his wife gently away from the confused expectant mother, and they slowly walked down the hall together, Meredith lost in her thoughts. All she could think about was that morning, when she too put the pieces together to realize that she was pregnant. And yet, unlike Sara Green, she had been unable to share the news with her husband, because of his stupid job, and her stomach hadn't gotten any bigger, because of her stupid hostile uterus. She remembered how ecstatic she had been when she'd seen the stick, and how surprised she'd been when she'd realized that her missed period and daily nausea were actually the products of something else, something so wonderful...

Meredith gasped and stopped short. She whipped out her phone, and starting counting days on her calendar. "Meredith?" Derek asked, but she was too busy counting and calculating. Could it be? Oh, could it possibly be?

"Meredith?" Derek tried again. "Are you okay?"

Meredith turned to him slowly, a smile spreading across her face. Quickly, she grabbed his arm and dragged him into an on-call room nearby.

"Derek," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling up at him.

"Meredith," Derek said, wrapping his owns arms around her, and giving her a perplexed smile.

Taking a deep breath, she told him, "I don't know for sure, but," she tightened her hold and smiled wider, "I think I might be pregnant again."

For a minute, Derek was too shocked to do anything. Finally, he whispered, "what?," a look of disbelief on his face.

"I've been throwing all day, and I feel awful, and I missed my period, and..." Meredith trailed off, smiling at him. Derek smiled back, feeling tears come to his eyes.

"Oh, Meredith," he breathed, holding her close. Then he pulled back and kissed her gently. He could feel a few tears falling, though he wasn't quite sure if they were hers or his.

"So," he said, finally pulling away and beaming at her, while she wiped her eyes. "What do we do now?"

"Well, I guess I should take a test to make sure, but..."

"But?"

Meredith looked at him. "Maybe we should wait one more day, just to make sure I'm not actually coming down with the flu or something."

Derek looked at her for a long time. She was right, he decided finally, they should be rational, and not jump at the idea of another baby, but he couldn't help wondering if it was a boy or girl already.

"Okay," he answered finally, pulling her in for another kiss.

The next morning, Meredith walked out of the bathroom, holding the stick in her hand, and sat down next to Derek on their bed. They'd been up late, talking about due dates and genders and genes and just smiling at each other in the dark.

"Okay," Meredith said. "We'll know for sure in about...two minutes."

"I can hardly wait," Derek said, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her cheek.

"We're going to be in the house by then, right?" she asked, fidgeting with the test.

"First of all, if you keep doing that, you're going to break the test, and then we have to wait all over again," Derek answered. "And secondly, we will be in the house eight or nine months from now. Actually, much sooner than that. I'm not living with all of these people for that long."

Meredith laughed and said, "Did I tell you April has been making a chore wheel?"

Derek stared at her and declared, "I'm going to pull rank on her if she goes through with it and tell her she can't make an attending wash dishes or take out the trash."

Meredith started to laugh and then glanced at the clock. "Derek," she breathed, "it's time."

For a minute they just looked at each other, and then Derek said, "We're turn it over on three, okay? One." He took an end of the stick.

"Two." Meredith grabbed her end tightly.

"Three," they said together," and flipped it over.

It was negative.

Derek just stared for a minute, not quite sure what had just happened. Where had their baby plans gone? He looked up at Meredith eventually, and they gazed at each other sadly.

Finally, Meredith broke the silence. "I'm...Derek, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have gotten our hopes up like that, I should have realized I was just sick-"

"Hey," he said, putting his hand on her cheek. "It's okay. I got my hopes up too. We'll try again, okay? It's not your fault, Meredith," he said gently, running his hand through her hair, and they both knew he wasn't just talking about this test.

"I'm supposed to be pregnant," Meredith whispered. "I'm supposed to be-I'm supposed-"

She burst into tears, putting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. "Shh," Derek tried to sooth her, holding her tightly. "It's okay, Meredith. It's okay."

Eventually, Meredith stopped crying, and they just held each other, grieving for the baby they had lost and the baby they would never have, hoping there would be another one soon in their future.

**A/N: So, that's my prediction for 7x12, based solely on the promo pics of Derek looking down at something with a sad, surprised look on his face, and of Derek and Meredith "gazing at each other sadly," and the hints that Meredith may be breaking down a little soon, and that MerDer will be affected in some way by the shooting (I didn't include the two other MerDer promo pics in the story, because I think they're just from a random happy moment we'll get at the beginning of the episode). I think it's pretty obvious that there will be at least one negative test before Meredith gets pregnant again (and I have an idea for a one-shot about that, if anyone's interested), since it's Meredith, Derek, and Shonda we're talking about. However, I am not to blame if that's not what happens next Thursday (but I personally will be very disappointed, because so far, just about all of my predictions have been wrong this season. Here's hoping.).**

**Were you overcome with grief? Did you like it? Do you hate me for destroying Merdith and Derek's happiness all over again? Did you hate the story but love the writing? Do you want to see more of my writing? Review please!**

**BTW: Anyone interested in a one-or-two-shot about moving into the Dream House? One-shot about Meredith's opinion about being Chief Resident?**

**P.S. Who's super-excited for this Thursday? Grey's is finally back!**


End file.
